A golden day in the sun

Hurrah! I am finally a PhD! It all started with a question that arrived in my inbox a mere fortnight ago:

"Have you ever thought that the only thing stopping you from a great job and better pay was a few letters behind your name?"

Yes, yes I have thought that. Now that I'm with the Worthies, I do have a great job and better pay, but I figured I should get the letters as well. You know, like a package deal. So, I went for it! It's been a tough two weeks, but Brennan, Henry, and Ogre-man have been totally supportive. I'm so glad to be done with it!

We got off the bus in Toledo (a.k.a. Glass City), so that I could have a proper graduation ceremony. Henry flew a sky writer airplane with pink colored smoke; the portrait he drew of me was so lovely, and astonishingly true-to-life. Brennan poured a forty of high-grade bubbles on the ground and lit his pants on fire while singing an aria he composed - "Marfelina, Bellisima PhD-ina". His baritone is non pareil, and the fire and bubbles could not have been a more appropriate and tender setting. Ogre-man danced a celebratory ancient Irish jig that had been passed down through his family for centuries. Then he proclaimed celibacy. It was all very touching.

With a "Yipee-ki-yi-yaooo!!", I threw my mortarboard into the sky. It floated away on a draft and landed in the Maumee River. I hope it finds a new happy home in the beaver dam down the way. Those animals sure could use some more edification. I don't care what dwell magazine says.

After Henry landed, or rather, crashed near-fatally (don't worry, he's fine), we all went into the river and I got baptized in my graduation gown. I've been wearing it for the past 14 days. I think Brennan was especially happy for us to be in the river, seeing as he's got a sensitive nose, and it's my first shower in the past two weeks (the gown is dry-clean only). Oh, also, he got to put out his pants-fire (don't worry, he's fine). Ogre-man gave up his promise almost immediately at the next truck stop (don't worry, he only caught rickets). Sigh. I love you guys.

Signed,

Marfa Worthy, PhD.