Tour Diary, Day 1

Over the course of the next few weeks, I will be maintaining a Tour Diary of my adventures with Marfa & The Other Worthy. It's gon' be a fun freaky ride.

Day 1:
This morning we had pancakes. Not the best way to start a day. Our manager doesn't even know about this blog so I can make fun of him all I want. His name is Frederick Shents, but I came up with a better nickname for him than "Frents" (Brennan's suggestion). I call him Ogre-Man. It's a perfect name. Original. Descriptive. Clever. So anyway, "Ogre-Man" had ordered the pancakes at IHOP thinking we were all ga-ga over them. He seems to think that pancakes are the Rocker's Ambrosia, the best way to start a day. Well, I got news for The Oagie (another nickname I came up with for him - it's a riff on "Ogre"), yours truly does not enjoy a cake of pan in the morning. I always wondered why pancakes, or "flappyjacks", are so terrible. As the band's researcher (I've traced each band member's ancestries back to the Secret Generation (more on this later)), I took it upon myself to find out why. Initial data on the root of their vileness supported the popular idea that they were named after Pan the Greek god of sheep. You probably heard of him. He is a little unlikable womanizing hairy man with goat legs. They say he is the god of "unbridled male sexuality", and I certainly wouldn't want to eat a cake made by that guy. You know? But then I looked around some more, and I figured out it's probably Pan-gu. Yes, Pan-gu is why pancakes are gross. He is the Chinese giant who was born as a dwarf from the cosmic egg. And as he grew and grew, he made the universe with different body parts becoming different things. For example, his eyes became the sun and the moon. His sweat became rain. His fleas, the human race. Yes, according to the legend, we are all the fleas living on the body of Pan-gu. If that's not the most terrifying thing I've ever heard, I am not getting out much. No wonder why the the cake of Pan-"goo" is so disgusting . It's probably like his spleen or something. Well that's my day in a nut-shell. A day in the life of your most humble Rock Musician living on the Road, aka The Tour. Catch ya at a Show, Or Until Next Time, This is "The Glue", a worthy Worthy, signing off....